Regrets
by seth 8627
Summary: Things that are said in wartime can often prove to be costly. The first in a possible series of one shot stories; this one staring Sgt. Kinchloe and touches on the topic of Black Civil Rights and possible attitudes people may have had about fighting the war. Mild Language.


Regrets

The mail call went down with its usual hustling and bustling of poor old Schultz, the Colonel then coming to his rescue, the guys moaning about the 'sampled' packages and censored letters. The Colonel didn't get off to badly this time, his letter from his Mom was still readable instead of playable, Newkirk had actually recovered the majority of his food parcel from his sister, LeBeau had received another three letters from girlfriends back in France and Carter? Well his goofy smile made me pretty darn certain his was from Mary Jane.

I was as surprised as everybody else when my name got called; I hardly got anything from home except for the odd Christmas letter update from Mom. We had all broken up to read in private, I went into the tunnels to monitor the radio as Col Hogan was expecting a reply from London before reading my letter.

* * *

_Dearest James,_

_I know you and your Father hasn't been on the best of terms for the past few years..._

That has to be the understatement of the war I laughed in my head.

_... But I still believe that you two still cared about each other._

Hang on. She wrote 'cared'!

_James darling, your Father died today. It was a car accident; he was announced dead at the scene. I'm so sorry honey. Your sister thought I should be the one to tell you, we can't believe it ourselves yet. I miss you; we miss you so much and wish that war ends soon so we can be together again. I hope you have friends where you are to help you as we have each other to lean on. _

_I know you and your Father disagreed about you going to war but know that he was proud of you. He was proud to be your Dad; he was just too stubborn to admit you were right. He did understand eventually that you weren't fighting for the country, but against the discrimination and injustice in Germany. _

_Stay strong darling _

_Love Mom_

I hadn't noticed the tear stains earlier, some were old others weren't. Angrily brushing the water from my eyes I wanted to beat the memories out of my head and just hold onto the good ones but I couldn't.

* * *

In the normally quiet household, peace was about as existent as it was in Germany. Tempers were flaring up as it had for the past few weeks, a torn woman stood lost in grief her eyes shining with moisture.

"Dad, you don't get it do you!" James repeated for what felt the hundredth time.

"No son, you don't get it. Why do you want to fight or die for a country that has beaten you, has shamed you and enslaved you?" Mr Kinchloe yelled at his only son.

"Dad it's not about that..."

"Then what boy, enlighten me!" He flaunted waving his arms out to the side in what should have been a welcoming gesture that turned into a threat.

"People need help Dad, if I can make a small difference, I will." An edge in his voice silenced his Father. "You must be a pretty selfish bastard not to be able to see that there are people worse off than us. So like it or lump it, I'm going. Don't bother to writing to me because if you want to change my mind you won't, if you want to say something. Say it now," James challenged forcing himself to uncurl his clenched fists.

Mr Kinchloe looked ready to explode, "Get out of my house boy and don't ever come back."

"With pleasure" James answered dryly picking up his bags.

"No wait, don't. Arthur do something" Mrs Kinchloe was in near hysterics after listening to them fight for the twentieth time since the draft notice came through.

"I'll be alright Mom," James reassured her with a hug before stepping out into the streets of Detroit.

* * *

"Kinch?"

Shaking his head of the unwanted thought he looked up to see Colonel Hogan eyeing him apprehensively.

"Sorry Sir, I was just thinking." I shrugged apologetically overly conscious of my stinging, bloodshot eyes.

"About what exactly? You were pretty well out of it, I just said 'Ol bubble head's coming' and got a distant grunt." The Colonel smiled warmly.

I thought for a long moment before I sighed, "Read this Sir, it explains most of it."

The Colonel took the letter from me, his face grew ever more solemn as he understood the last few years of my life that had been a secret I had wanted to keep to myself and to a degree, from myself. I wanted so badly to take back those words, to go back and apologize to him. Guilt raked at me for not writing to him once, not even trying to get my Mom to tell him I, I never wanted him to be mad at me. That I was trying to do right, like he had taught me to do.

"Kinch, I'm so sorry." He returned the letter looking sorry and angry, "this war stinks."

"Tell me about it." I nodded in agreement.

"Any time you need to talk, you know we're here for you right?" The Colonel said softly placing his hands on his knees to stand.

"Yeah, thanks Sir." I was grateful for the space he was giving me; he understood my need for privacy.

"You go on up, I'll mind the store." Colonel Hogan offered placing a hand on my shoulder.

I nodded, realizing that I wasn't going to be much help. A sad smile broke out as I headed back to the Barracks as a thought crossed his mind; 'Mom you don't have to worry, I have the best friends a man could wish for.'

* * *

Hope you liked it, please review even if you didn't, please give a reason so I can improve or let me know if you think it's worth while doing more around other characters. Seth


End file.
